I feel like I don't know what I'm put on this earth for. What should I be doing with my life?
The answer to that most likely would be "to do whatever that makes me happy" right? The problem is I don't think I know what that is.
Things will entertain me for a period of time, but I feel like nothing really gives me a strong enough signal. When I think about things that I do enjoy, I feel like I am not good enough at them. Being skilled in whatever you do would seem logical right? Well I suppose one could argue that skill comes in time, especially if you like what you do. So, if that is true, my mind brings up the statement : am I doing what I like? If I was, I would be seeing a more significant improvement in my skill?
Id probably say that yes, I am improving but is this improvement significant? I would think that if I was truly interested in something I would be putting more effort. When I look around at my friends, all of them seem to be making something out of their lives; Going to Grad School, finding themselves, getting married, or simply making friends and establishing their careers. Whatever it is, it seems to me that they are working hard at it. I, on the other hand, feel like I am just doing... there is no "working hard". Ok, well I am staying late at lab and trying to accomplish whatever I can, but there is a difference between the attitude I have and the attitude I see within my friends. I don't even know what or who I am or if what I am doing is what I should do. I think I've been more and more withdrawn as time has been going by. What I need is to find something that excites me, something to fight for. Once I can have some kind of end goal or perspective, It will make things much clearer. I feel like I'm underwater and I need to surface. What do I need to find that will define me? What is it that will make my purpose clearer? Whatever it is, will have to be discovered another day.
Epistemic Bubbles
7 years ago
3 comments:
do not despair, Brubert. i, and i bet others, feel the same way. i float through to pay the rent. i don't try hard at work, because i don't care to make a life of what i do. i know i'm not doing the right thing, but i don't know what else to do. it's seriously frustrating. i've decided that being confused, poor, and moody is part of being a 20-something.
i've decided to take it slow. i know what i don't like about where i am and what i do. and i'm seeking to improve those things one at a time. is this a good way to find my passion? i have no idea. i'm just trying to figure out how to afford a better home or how to make my work situation more bearable.
it's easy to look at others and feel like you're behind or something. i do it all the time, but remember: everyone has a battle to fight. hope that helps and that it wasn't too rambly. hang in there, man.
see the piggies. see the squiggies: ~ ~~~``~~~
Oh Rob, I feel exactly the same. Perhaps this is why it's so hard for me to find a job. What do I want to do? What am I good at? I'm "good" at speaking Spanish...but not nearly as good as the million native speakers that are all around me looking for the same jobs.
Maybe the answer is to just find a job to pay the bills, and find what you love outside of work. I don't LOVE the idea of working at Target, but if it's the only interview I can get, then I'll have to take it.
I LOVE riding tandem bikes but I can't ever find a second person...so...
chin up, kid. I'm in the same boat with you :(.
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