It's that time of the month again...

Ok I shouldn't compare blogging to a woman's menstrual cycle but too late now.

It seems like blogging is not as fun as I had cut it out to be. Not enough leisure time, thats what the culprit is. I just wish there was more time. Maybe if there was a way to enjoy what I had just a little more... almost like a squirrel storing nuts away for the winter. I think bloc party nails it on the head in their song 'Waiting for the 7.18' when they say

If I could do it all again I'd make more mistakes
Not be so scared of falling,
If I could do it again, I would climb more trees
I'd pick and I'd eat more wild blackberries...

I always seem to want more... more memories, more excitement, more stimulation. The desire to have stored away more fun childhood memories is the same deal.
Does wanting more do anything for us? Does it change the way we think? can it make us more motivated to do things? ... or does it just make us more miserable.

Everyone wants to be fulfilled, but wanting more is like climbing a never ending ladder. If you never can reach what you want, then how can you be happy? A fortune cookie that was read to me recently illustrates this much better. It said: "the pleasure of what we enjoy is lost by wanting more." Appreciating what you have and enjoying the moment makes us able to obtain what we want, since we are simply experiencing it. I guess also living in the moment removes expectations and worries about future goals.

This reminds me of a book I'm reading by Allan Lightman- Einsteins dreams. It is interesting because there is such a balance that we struggle for. If you are focused on the future and live your life too fast, then you will Inevitably end up unhappy at some point since a lot of life is suffering. Furthermore, you will fail to appreciate what is going on around you... remember the expression 'stop and smell the roses'? Then again if you live your life too slow then you will seize to exist as a person but more as a snap shot in time... soulless and frozen. Granted I doubt that anyone can live THAT slow; In fact it's impossible. However, if you slow down too much and only focus on this exact moment in life right now, do you really live life or are you just sitting there? There isn't any contrast in either extreme. Now memories are a interesting thing in themselves. If we did not have memories we would no longer have anything to compare our experiences to, and basically remove any social fear of failure because it would be forgotten almost instantaneously. However back to the comment earlier that a lot of life is suffering, I feel like the carefree joys would loose their significance, simply because we wouldn't have anything bad to contrast them with.

Why should we want more? I suppose as humans we can't resist to self improve, but then again just seeking more things to do and fun to be had isn't exactly self improvement in the sense I would normally associate the term with. It would be more like an effort to improve our state of mind and or well being. So really, wanting more is need to create happiness and in order to do so (at times) dulls life to help restore balance.

Life is molded through unhappy experiences therefore allowing us to contrast them with the happy instances, so I suppose it's good to look ahead a little, albeit its slightly ironic that by seeking more happiness one gets farther from it. Then again, getting further from happiness actually gets you so much closer at the same time.